It is pretty amazing how your own Chinese people will brand you if:
1. You have tanner skin than them.
2. You have eyes bigger than their oriental slits.
3. You have double eyelids.
4. Your mother tongue is anything but Chinese.
5. You have 'international' taste for foods other than clear herbal soups.
6. You have higher tolerance of other races.
7. You are dating other races.
8. You do not watch Wah Lai Toi or Channels 8 and U.
9. You swear with F words instead of Hokkien Cs.
10. You don't barge through the waiting bus/ train door like there's no tomorrow.
I've gotten things like:
1. Are you Sarawakian?
2. See your skin colour, you would qualify for a Bumi scholarship, definitely.
3. Do you eat pork?
4. Do you celebrate Chinese New Year?
5. Do you wear sarongs and kebaya all the time?
6. Are you Filipino? No? Then are you from China? (The person who said this definitely forgot to take off his sunglasses, no wonder I looked darker!)
7. You are Chinese (at last, a non-denial!) why can't you speak Chinese?
8. *Gasp* (in awe). She can speak Chinese!?
9. You are from Malaysia, that makes you a Malay right?
10. (As if I've gone invisible) She does not speak Chinese but she understands what you say.
11. You are not Chinese! Hahaha! (The person must've been really sure of him/herself to come up with this Nobel Winning statement)
12. You speak Malay at home?! *Gasping looks* (They just stop short of asking if I am circumsized.It's not Malay by the way, it's just the Straits-born lingo, if that is what I must call it.)
Maybe I should have used the following answers:
1. No, I'm Human. What are you?
2. Actually Abdullah happens to be my relative. Notice my resemblance to his daughter.
3. Of course I do! Unless they used rat meat for these char siews!
4. I celebrate Life. You should too.
5. Anything that could cover my modesty!? Some people wear kerchiefs, have you seen?
6. I love your sunglasses. They are really effective in reducing the amount of light that travels to your brain aren't they?
7. I'm Malaysian!! That is why I choose to speak Malay!? Chinese - China, Malaysian - Malay...Get it you dork!
8. *Gasp* Where's the surprise!? I don't see it!
9. *Gasp* I did not know that!? I'm so ignorant!
10. Where's that smart animal that you are talking about?!
11. * HA HA HA* You are a funny guy *HA HA HA* I've never seen an Ass before, really!
12. Well, it is my 'mother's' tongue basically. Do you think my family would be better off talking like N!Xau?
Some people tend to be more 'creative':
1. Sometimes, I am a Banana - Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. I must be a very burnt banana then.
2. Sometimes, I am an OCBC - Orang Cina Bukan Cina. No connections to the banking corporation whatsoever. I won't mind having one though.
3. There are times, people are tempted to dub me ABC - American Born Chinese, but the thing is, I am not American! Realising that, they decide to use 'Ang Moh-nized' instead. Ahh..what I would do for blonde hair and blue eyes!
Then again, because of my grin and bear it nature, I usually brush off the remarks with a hearty laugh, a smirk or a barely audible "You dumbass!" and continue grinning and bearing it.
I am seriously tempted to change my race to CHINESE IRONY.
See what they have to say to that!
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4 comments:
Thanks for the ROFL post!
But on the other hand, its also a sad reflection of how people tend to stereotype, and how they get hopelessly lost when people don't fit their stereotypes.
In Sarawak, mixed marriages are much more common, so people don't bat an eyelid when a Malay looking chap speaks Mandarin, etc.
Smirk. I like that. Do that more often, especially to idiots. :))
totally enjoy ur post!
it's a wonder how ignorant these ppl are. i too had/have my own share of 'comments', some somewat similar to urs. haha.. comments like do u celebrate hari raya, are u a bumiputra etc etc.. if fr a sporean i can understand but i got those from uni mates!! imagine tat! i was like didn't u learn bout the peranakans in history??? i guess they were more interested in the history of their 'motherland'.
yes, ppl love to stereotype and judge others. and yes, sarawakians and sabahans are less racist and judgemental.
anyway it doesn't matter what they think... peabrains, go get a life!
The Peranakan Story:
Princess Hang Li Poh came to town to marry Sultan Mansur? And her entourage married the locals and assimilated both cultures which are observed by the descendants until today.
People often think of locals as 'Malays', 'Muslims'; hence the 'porky' questions.
I don't think I have a drop of Malay blood in me at all!
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