Disclaimer: This article was never meant to target anyone, living or dead. However, if you feel that it was aimed at you, then perhaps you should really start reviewing your relationship with your friends.
It was pretty ironic. I remembered telling my Bud the other day that when you are dating (or married or whatever) to someone, you never realise how much your world revolves around your better half; until one day (unfortunately or not) your relationship comes to an end. And then you realise how much you have neglected those around you - your family, your friends, your dog.
Remember those times when you were dating? All effort was made to impress your better half - you spend most of your waking time; plan your activities around; give your full attention to him/ her. Indeed, those are understandably the most natural things to do, because hey, love conquers all doesn't it. Friends ask you out and you just couldn't bear leaving your beloved for about 5 minutes. It was as if your world revolved around him/her. Like my mother would say "Macam belangkas!" When one day all these are taken away from you, and you are at your loneliest lowest point, you may discover that every one of your friends had carried on with their lives without you. You try to win back their affection and attention, but it would not be the same anymore. There may also be instances when they no longer care whether you are in their lives or not. Just like you did when you had that better half.
It is not that I am being a bitch or anything but I am writing from experience. I've had friends who were so caught up in their lovers, that they forgot who I was, or the friendship that we had shared previously. Friends who do not bother putting effort to nurture the friendship that we'd built for many years. Friends who keep giving excuses for not wanting to meet up and do not take initiative to arrange one. Friends who take for granted that I would always be there for them, that I cannot go on with my life without them. I must say, that I am not much of a friendship angel myself, but recently I've come to realise that, friends are actually closest to you, after your family.
It didn't matter that the last time you met your best mate in school was after the school's final exams. He/She still remembers your birthday every year nevertheless. Or that University mate who had gotten married. He/She still hangs out with you, and introduces his/ her spouse into your group. Or that best buddy of yours who was there to lend a shoulder to cry on when your goldfish died, he/she even bought one to replace yours, because he/she cannot bear to see you cry.
It didn't matter that I am in a happy relationship and that I have my darling. It just makes me feel secured to know that there are a bunch of people whom I could still talk to or share my darkest hours whenever and wherever. My friends.
When you penned "Friendship remains and never will end" in your school autographs, you must realise that you have to care enough to cherish and nurture friendship your whole life through, regardless of what commitments you already have.
As for me, I would not want to end up one day like some of the people I know - No Longer Important, Long Time Forgotten.
P.S. To A, I like the idea of sitting around when we are old to talk about our cucus. Looking forward.
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5 comments:
well penned dear... who is 'a' btw?.. ;)
'A' is the one dating 'S' but still makes an effort very often to meet us up; regardless of job commitments :).
We bought cempedak together the other day haha!
True enough... How often can we see a bunch of senior citizens having good laugh during some afternoon tea??? Those are the spirits that need years to grow... But, equally important is, how often elderly people thinks of having a night walk with their loved ones, chatting, while holding hands?
Luckily I have a very understanding wife who doesn't mind me spending time with my buddies :)
I am glad for you Pat, you are one lucky guy with such a considerate wife. I hope to learn from her too:)
Just so you know, an acquaintance of mine seriously disappointed not only me but others in the group. And his/her spouse's attitude towards us didn't help either. Makes us wonder whether we were not good enough to be friends with them. And don't see the point of all the 'flaws' being found out AFTER he/she got married?! (we knew each other since Uni).
However,that being said, we may not be entirely 'angelic' either, because we may have flaws that we chose to overlook.
There are times when we chose to not care, but I guess deep down, we hope that someone UP THERE would knock some senses into that person's head. Or maybe it was meant to be that, the friendship should discontinue. I wouldn't know.
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